On Certainty and Being Right
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2008
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
The other night, my husband, Bernd, and I were playing Bookworm together on the computer. It's a game (mostly intended to be played solo but we have the most fun playing it together) in which you have a board in front of you and you must connect letters to form words. If you form big enough words, some of your tiles turn green, yellow or blue and are worth more points.
Now I don't claim to know every word in the American version of the English language, but I was sure that wasn't one of them. By the way, a hake is a marine fish related to cod.
What's at issue here is certainty. Realistically, I can't know everything and I acknowledge this regularly. To be honest, I am most likely to do this when I might benefit most from it. Bernd might say, "Honey, what is the speed of sound?" And I might say, "Gee whiz, I don't know that. Why would I know that? I don't know everything." And there I am, off the hook, don't have to take a guess, don't risk being wrong. Even so, I haven't yet learned to keep my mouth shut about his more outlandish seeming words.
Just because you think a thing (hake is not a word, for example) doesn't make it so. Just because you have convinced yourself something is true or correct doesn't make it so. I have this fantasy that I am intelligent despite everything that happens to prove me otherwise. I'm just stubborn that way.
A certain amount of certainty is necessary to get through the day. The sun will rise. My kitchen will still be there when I get up and breakfast will be along shortly. I will be inspired to make a new piece of jewelry or write a new article. Wait a minute.
Certainties, or expectations, help us live our lives without coming apart at the seams. Imagine trying to go to sleep at night if you always had to worry about and wonder if the sun would rise tomorrow. But we should never get so stuck in our thinking that we assume what is likely to occur is a guarantee that it will. I can't tell you how many of Bernd's "silly" words have turned out to actually be words. I'll be sitting here, connecting up the letters, expecting no result, and then there it isa real word.
Keep your convictions. Hold on to your expectations. Use your assumptions. Just try to remember that is what they are. They are not guarantees and they don't always reflect reality. And keep your mind open. You never know what new words you might learn. Here are a few that we have learned from playing Bookworm:
GORP: a mixture of nuts, raisins, dried fruits, seeds and the like, i.e. Trail Mix
GOX: gaseous oxygen
HOB: a projection or shelf at the back or side of a fireplace
HOD: a portable trough for carrying mortar
RET: to soak in water or expose to moisture
Oh, by the way, if you decide to try Bookworm, make as few three-letter words as possible. They result in burning tiles and if they reach the bottom of the board without being used they will burn down your Library and end the game. This doesn't stop Bernd from suggesting them, though. And I hope it never does.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)hi dianne, what a pleasant, easy, happy article. it was fun reading it. and well written, as well. thank you for sharing. i was wishing i could have been there!, best regards, sueThank you so much, Sue. It was fun to write it. My husband always laughs at the shocked look on my face when one of his words works. :)
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