Names and Labels
Posted: Monday, December 08, 2008
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
I came into this world without a name and acquired my name, Dianne, by default. As my mother told it to me, my father refused to consider that I might turn out to be a girl. In his mind, Mom was having a boy and he would be named George in the family tradition. Dad was named for his grandfather and so would be his first child. As a result of his conviction, he would not let Mom, just in case, choose a girl's name. This was in the days before ultrasound could tell you the sex of your baby and amniocentesis offered too much risk to the fetus.
They say that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but from time to time I wonder what my life might have been like had I been a Mary or a Hilda instead. But my name is not me. Dianne Sue Aldrich was just a convenient label used to indicate the girl baby born to Jerrold George Walter Edward Aldrich and Flora Belle Baringer Aldrich on August 8, 1952 and living at 9515 Charlesworth Road , Pico Rivera , California . There were no Zip Codes at that time. My name is also the label others use to indicate that bundle of traits, physical appearance, capabilities and contradictions that I simply refer to as me.
Names as labels are fine. Labels as names are not.
I had a friend in high school who, when she was down on herself, would call herself a stupid n*****. It was a sad thing to hear, but she didn't always mean it with extreme animosity toward herself. The day an angry boy called her that name to her face was enlightening. She came completely unhinged. He remarked that he'd heard her call herself that before so why was she so bent out of shape. Basically, what she said was that what she calls herself is her own business, but nobody else has the right to label her. And she was right. I've never called myself "bitch," but at least one person has. I have called myself stupid or lazy and I have to say, I don't like it when others label me that way. Stupid and lazy no more define me than my name does.
Labels in and of themselves are not bad. We need them actually, as demonstrated in my third paragraph. Then there is a simple word such as "tree." You can't even describe it without using the labels for its various parts; leaves, bark, trunk, branches. Or I suppose you could, but it might sound something like, "that thing with the green bits and straight parts and parts that twist and stick out at odd angles and it all comes up out of the ground." Oops, used a label, "ground." Until you stick the word ground in there it could have been a sweater for all you know. We need labels to get through our days with a minimum of wasted time. We need labels that we agree upon so that we can have some good idea of what someone else is trying to tell us.
What we do not need labels for is the demeaning, demoralizing and unflattering categorization of people, animals, and even things. I have yet, though, to understand why calling a woman a "female dog" is derogatory even though this is the usual intent. I've never known a dog that wasn't a nice individual. I can't say that for all the people I've known.
Here's a simple case. I've heard homeless people referred to as "wretched." How does the referrer know they are wretched? Yes, their situation might be described as wretched by some standards, but not necessarily the individual. And even then, how does the referrer know that this is not the very situation the homeless person desires for him or herself? Because the referrer sees homelessness as wretched does not make it so. And therein lays the trouble with labels. They are generally applied out of ignorance and personal bias. When you label someone "wretched" you stop seeing the human being. All you see is the wretchedness.
I'm not much better than most in my use of labels, I don't always think first and speak second. But at least I am aware of the problems they can create. And I won't tell people to stop using labels all together. But the next time you are about to use a pejorative, you might at least want to stop and think about what that says about you and the labels that someone might apply to you as a result.
This Article has been viewed 1,142 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)hi dianne,this was a great article, filled with good points. i never liked labels either. i've been around kids for 24 years, and all of their 20 or more combined friends, and i talk to them as much as my kids will allow before steering them up to their rooms. they are labeled for short hair, long hair, dreads, earrings in boys, piercings, tatoos, etc. why can't we, who i've heard know that teens go through this stage, just let them be and go through it?my name was also a get out of hospital now, or stay name. it was quickly picked out of a name book.thanks for sharing,my best to you,sueHi Sue.It's really HARD not to label things and people. I look at the world from the stand- point of how it effects me and I think we are all a little self-centered that way. So if I don't like something, I tend to label it bad. But understanding the "blindness" and the problems this creates helps me to curb this tendency in myself. But it's really hard to just let some things be.So, have you often wondered what your name might have been had your parents given it some thought beforehand? And now I'm thinking that maybe this is more common than I thought. There were an awful lot of "Dianes" in my graduating class.Thanks for reading and commenting.Hugs,Dianne
Putting a label on another person is the same as judging them. Not right at all.Your article is excellent Dianne, your on a writing streak. Good for you.Hi Kathy.As they say "you have to strike while the iron is hot."Yup, you're right, it's the same as judging and it's not right, but we all do it.It's especially bad when advertisers tell us this smell is bad (buy their air freshener) or it is bad to let others see your sweaty underarms (buy their antiperspirant). We see things and people being judged every day all day long and don't think a thing about it. All we can do is try to raise awareness of this.Thanks for reading,Love,Dianne
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.