Why The Chinese will Never Rule the World
Posted: Monday, March 23, 2009
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
Much attention has been given to the Chinese in recent years and their rapid industrial growth. Seems everything you buy these days is made in China . Well, not everything yet but that seems to be the fear. I say we have nothing to worry about.
We inherited my step-dad's motor scooter and since we have no use for it, we decided to sell it. It was made in China . I have to wonder why they don't get an actual English speaking person (English as a first language) to at least proof read their instruction manuals if not write them outright.
- Wear brightly garment.
- It is not available to close other vehicle nearer.
- Accident often occurs due to over speed, so never surpass the maximum speed in the road you are passing.
- The passage should hold the safe handrail firmly or embrace the driver, and put the foot on the footrest.
These are all good recommendations and we know full well what is meant. Still, it is hard to take seriously such silly sounding statements or the people who allowed them to remain so.
At one point while firing up the scooter after it had sat for a couple of months, Bernd inadvertently flooded the engine by following these instructions: When start engine in cold especially in winter turn the ignition switch to OFF, Paddle the kick back start lever about 5 times, there comes a slight of fuel, let the wire in circuit, the engine can start.
Because he had flooded it, he looked in the instructions to learn where the spark plug was so that he could remove it and clean it. He found the part he needed but he was told to "ripe" off the plug.
My personal favorite is this one: Ride on seat from the left. Make sure to sit well, let the left foot on the ground to keep from upside down. Before running the rear brake should be keep in braking condition. It really made me chuckle.
Are they trying to save money? Do they think they can write as well in any language as they do in Chinese? Do they care whether or not anyone understands what they are trying to get across? Because we are unfamiliar with the scooter, we had some trouble starting it (aside from it having sat for a quite a while). We discovered that the "kill" switch is a toggle switch and that it was engaged. Nowhere in the manual did it mention that the scooter will not start while the kill switch is engaged. Okay, so possibly that one is a no-brainer, but most kill switches I've had experience with are buttons and cannot be left in an engaged position. But if it had been mentioned, it might have gone something like this: With that the kill switch is on the engine can not be start. Do not toggle the switch and the engine may be start.
Some time ago, Bernd ran across a woman on the Internet who was writing about techniques for dealing with mean people. Stating that she was a lifelong fan of "Japlish," she used an example from an instruction manual that she found amusing: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Because of my husband's experience with this and other manuals written in "Chinglish" (his word), he is now secure in the knowledge that the Chinese will never rule the world. He does admit though, that they can probably cause a lot of trouble mainly with their instruction manuals.
If any of you have run across similar badly worded instructions, I would love to hear about them.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Dianne...this is HILARIOUS! And oh so true. Those manuals are a hoot. My dad, were he alive today, would be gathering troops to wage war...on the U.S. government... for allowing so much 'stuff' to be imported. He was a HARDCORE union man...back in the day when it was much more common to see "made in USA" than anything other. Bless his heart! As for China ruling the world? Well, they really already do, if we base 'ruling' on numbers. But you know what? It's ONE WORLD anyway...and the sooner we quit with all the borders, the sooner we'll stop being so scared of said changes. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!Hugs, Bella~CamilleHi Camille.Well, you're right ... it is just one world. If we all just came together as homo sapiens and forgot about the whole nationality thing, we'd be a lot better off. But there is so much involved in that; language, culture, tradition. The television show, Star Trek, always gave me hope.Anyway, thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed it.Hugs,Dianne
Dianne,What a hoot! And most definitely true.While I haven't got one on translations, I remember my parents visiting Russia back in the 70's. My dad was convinced they could never be #1 because in building their 'modern' apartments and stores, their idea of level and square was non-existent.Thanks for a good laugh,NancyHi Nancy.Thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed it. Thanks, too, for joining my fan club.Guess I shouldn't complain about the corners in our house not being quite truly square. Didn't really notice until we were laying our laminate flooring.As troubled as the U.S. is, we've still got it over many other countries and I can think of no place I would rather live. Well, Hawaii comes to mind, but that is still in the U.S. But if you watch the Tonight Show with Jay Leno when he asks young people on the street questions, you might think Hawaii was in a totally different country.I'm rambling.Dianne
Funny stuff, Dianne! I briefly tried to sell RC helicopters from China. I bought a couple to try them out, and never sold one. I couldn't pass that on to anyone else, and the "instructions" read just like you wrote.Great article!!Hi Ken.I do actually enjoy reading those instruction manuals because they make me laugh. It's only a problem when you REALLY need to figure out something.Thanks for reading and commenting,Dianne
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!! This was great Dianne, and yes, ever tried to read "made in China" or Made In Japan stero instructions....I felt like I was on Mars....not Earth.....Mars.....I couldn't read most of it, but the ironic part of this story is that I had a Chinese friend of mine come over to help me assemble it, and hook it up, (he was from the old country, not born here) and he understood it perfectly. Maybe the could win a war, as I believe that this is James Bond type code, (Insert James Bond Music here), and our job, as Joe Blow middle America, our jobs, if we choose to accept it, is to decipher it, break the code, and take over the world!!!! hahahahahhaha, oh okay, so I'm a little over the top....anyways, you get the point!!!! Great read, had me laughin.....hahahahhahahaha Your fan, and friend in pen.....GaryHi Gary.Oh man! You've just got to hope that they include some sort of schematic to help you along. It seems that the manuals for electronic equipment are the worst.I bought a large piece of assemble-it-yourself furniture a bunch of years ago and it was made in China. Luckily, there were lots of pictures!You know, when my step-mother-in-law tries to write us something in English (she's German), it is sometimes incomprehensible to other people. But because I speak a little German and understand how the language is put together, I can make sense of it. So I get why your Chinese friend could do the same.Hey, do you write fiction? Because maybe you should. I like your scenario; it could be really funny.Thanks for your time,Dianne
Interesting article!If the Chinese want to rule the world then the dodgy English instructions would help them, not hinder them - English speakers wouldn't know how to use their Chinese-made equipment properly :) Maybe it's time we started learning Chinese?There's lots more funny "Engrish" examples at engrish dot com, and if you google for "translate server error" you'll see a Chinese restaurant that demonstrates the dangers of relying on Internet translation tools :)Hi Ben,Thanks for the tips. I'll check them out. Sounds like fun!Thanks for reading and commenting.Dianne
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