Weird Words
Posted: Monday, August 24, 2009
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
Patoot
"You smell like a horse's patoot," is a phrase that I have become familiar with. I've been involved with horses for quite a few months now. I've groomed them and mucked their stalls. I've been over every inch of them. I've rubbed their bellies and foreheads. I've had my hands in their mouths (well inside their lips, but outside of their teeth, thank goodness) and found the very soft skin on the undersides of their tales.
I've seen the undersides of their hooves and looked in their ears, but no one has yet to say to me while pointing to the pertinent part, "And this is the horse's patoot." Well, some of you more well-read and erudite individuals may all ready know what this means. I had a good guess (after all I have seen a few episodes of M.A.S.H.), but I wasn't certain that what I thought it was, is what it is. Apparently it's another way of referring to a horse's behind, butt, backside, rear end.
You can't spend any significant amount of time around horses and not come into contact with manure. They make it all the time. It's what they do. A horse would stand and eat all day long if you let it. Statistics say that the average horse will take in about 15 pounds of food each day and excrete about 45 pounds of solid waste. Sounds a bit bass akwards until you take into consideration that they can also drink anywhere from five to 15 gallons of water a day and that one gallon of water weighs about eight pounds. They produce prodigious amounts of urine as well.
The manure that they deposit in their stalls must be removed (mucked out) and I've found it is easiest to do this when it has first dried a bit. The manure they leave in the pasture is left to dry completely, and while it doesn't smell as strongly as the fresh kind, it does retain the manure smell. It gets powdered by the trampling of the horses and rises as dust in the air. I've learned not to lick my lips after a long day with the horses.
There is also the issue of intestinal gas. Horses fart even more than they poop. Being as short as I am, I frequently find myself (and my nose) at a horse's anus level. I've come to the conclusion that horses have a very wicked and well developed sense of humor. Why else would they seem to save their farts for when I am grooming the back ends of them? I try to move when I see their tales go up, but am not always quick enough. Some of that smell must surely stick to me.
I'm fairly certain that after spending a day at the stables (my husband, Bernd, has been kind enough to tell me so) that I smell like manure. So the next time someone tells me that I smell like a horse's patoot, I won't argue because I probably do.
Zygodactyl
As a child, I would love to sit and read through my mother's dictionary of the English Language. I still do this from time to time, but not with the same robust enthusiasm I had for it as a child. So it was many years ago that I came across two of my favorite words. One of them is zygodactyl and the other is the word that I used to name my small business, syzygy.
Looking at the word syzygy, it's obvious (well it is, isn't it?) why that would be one of my favorite words. Technically, there are no vowels in it. And it has a certain symmetry to it that is compelling; at least to a philologist.
But zygodactyl caught my attention for two reasons: (1) any word with the letter "z" in it fascinated me, and (2) its definition. As a child I loved birds more than just about anything else, except maybe dogs and horses. Most birds have four toes on each foot. The majority of them have three toes pointing forward and one toe pointing back. Parrots and Budgerigars and many of the tree-climbing birds have two toes pointing forward and two toes pointing back. These birds are zygodactyl.
Zygodactyl comes from Greek roots (most really odd words seem to, but I suppose they are not odd to the Greeks). Zygo refers to a yoke or a pair, and dactyl is simply a finger, toe or other similar structure.
The last word in my mother's dictionary was zyzzyva (sounds dirty doesn't it), which is any of a number of tropical American weevils which are often destructive to plants. I might have considered this word to be even more amazing than syzygy because of the preponderance of "z's," but it has one actual vowel and so lost that potentially lauded distinction.
By now you are probably wondering what syzygy means. Even if you are not, I will tell you. That's just the way I am. Always a delight and full of fun and interesting facts. It is an astronomical term that refers to when three celestial bodies form a straight line with each other. This is as when the sun and earth and moon line up to create an eclipse.
As for patoot, I've been unable to find it in any of my many dictionaries and its origins are unclear, as may be the point of this article. But I did manage to get quite a few good words into it, didn't I?
This Article has been viewed 2,171 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
More commentsI LOVE this, Dianne! Once again, you wield your wit and your brilliance to make for fun, interesting reading...and educational too! BRAVISIMO!Hi Camille.Thanks! Really, I just like words.Thanks for stopping by. I'm off in just a bit to go play with horses. I hope you have a nice day too.Hugs,Dianne
Great article. Well done.I love strange words - how about "Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis". 'a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust, causing inflammation in the lungsHi Connor.Where did you run across that one? That's a heck of a word. I'm not even going to try to say it.Glad you liked the article. Feel free to send me any other weird words that you like.Respectfully,Dianne
hi dianne,i'm so glad you're getting to do something you love, riding and caring for the horses.words are weird, or i guess, the spelling of words are weird. i am good in spelling, but not so with other members of my household, so i am always spelling words for them, however, i can understand how they can't spell, when most of our words are spelled nothing like they sound.thanks for a good article,my best to you,sueHi Sue.Some languages are more that way than others. When I was studying German, I was impressed with the regularity of the spelling rules. Once you learned them you could pretty much spell any word you heard and get it right. American English has so many words in it from other languages (Germans resisted foreign words for a very long time) and with the history of written English as used in Britain (for a long time, historically, people spelled words however they thought they should and they were also pronounced ... well that's the popular belief anyway ... more as they spelled them), that it is no wonder it is a difficult language to spell. I'm ever grateful for spellcheck.As for the horses, it is a constant blessing to me. The woman who owns them tells me she is grateful for my help and that the horses are happier and healthier for my care, but I think I get the better part of the bargain.Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. You know that I always appreciate it.Hugs,Dianne
I too, like words, Dianne. I think I get my passion honestly through my genetic line. When my grandfather first settled here in PA, someone spotted him in the woods, and yelled, "European in the bushes!" So, he calmly replied, "Of course I am, the out-house is full." Remind me sometime and I'll tell you about the "youth in Asia," and how they just want to give up at times.Good story ! - Catfish CharlieHi Catfish.I love that line ... it's priceless! As writers, I think we all like words, or maybe that's why we became writers; genetics aside. :) Although, come to think of it, my mom was an avid cross word puzzle solver. That's the real reason she had such a nice dictionary.Thanks for stopping by,Dianne
Dianne, I suppose one should withhold judgement upon being called a "cutie patootie" eh? Does sound a bit oxymoron-ish. Enjoyed your story and yes the English language is chock full ("chock" isn't that a wedgy) of weird words and duality of meanings. But then that makes it fun. Thanks for sharing.John BrazellHi John.First before I forget, thanks so much for joining my fan club. It's an honor.I did run into "cutie patootie" while looking on line for definitions of patoot. Apparently they are totally unrelated. One source thought that it might be an aberration of potato and cited the phrase "hot patootie" as the reason ... you know, as in "hot potato." Though why that should indicate an attractive woman (as cutie patootie supposedly does) is a total mystery to me. And now you've got me curious about that particular use of "chock!"Thanks so much for reading and commenting.Dianne
Here in Texas we use the term patoot to mean arse, as in a horse's arse. Many of the old timers say it when kids are around, yet the kids say it to mean something different. They say it after the whole family goes out for a big dinner of Mexican food, and after arrriving home when the mother asks where the father is, the kids say, 'Pa toot.'Nicely done.Hi Michael.Yup, that's pretty much what I gathered it meant from Colonel Potter on M.A.S.H. As for that last bit, do they really? :) Clever you!I did run into a number of people who had used "patoot" as an acronym. Some of them were amusing and some were incomprehensible. One has to ask oneself why some one would ever bother to say it meant Paul Attacked Tumblers On Our Trip.Thanks for reading and commenting. Oh by the way, I love the word "arse," too.Dianne
Hi Dianne,
I enjoyed reading this as much as you did writing it. That you enjoyed writing it came through and made it more enjoyable for me. Words are fun but like you, I do not read the dictionary as much as I once did.
Thanks for a fun article!
Hugs,
AvisHi Avis.I'm not at all surprised that you also read the dictionary. Just one more thing we have in common! And I did enjoy writing it and I hope to make it into a series. I want to use words that I've had personal experience with as much as possible. It should be fun.Thanks for reading!Hugs,Dianne
Dianne,You really do have it! What a joy to read and what fun this must have been to write. I loved the part about not licking your lips (because I am always spraying mosquito repellent on my exposed arms, legs, neck & dabbing my face, whenever I go into my backyard, I, too, don't lick my lips).Great article and thank you for sharing.NancyPS Mike Fak tells us that most who write don't make it but, in your case, you should give it a try.Hi Nancy.I'm flabbergasted (isn't that a wonderful word?) by your P.S. Thanks so much for the encouragement. As I told Avis, I hope to make this into a series. I hope the rest are as well received as this one has been.Thanks for reading and I'm glad that you enjoyed it!Dianne
I must say, you certainly love horses more than I ever could! But we both love words as equals.I even make up words!Great article, Dianne.Hi Ken.What are some of your made up words? I bet they are great. Bernd and I have a word (phrase, really) for when he combines a birthday gift (August 8) and an anniversary gift (August 30) for me: Annbirthiversary Day Gift.I'm well aware that some misguided people just can't find it in their hearts to adore horses the way that I do. :) My husband is one of them. I'm glad that we can agree on words.Thanks for reading and commenting.Respectfully,Dianne
Words? What/when do they mean?I do not see any point.EricYou can't live with 'em or...Hi Eric.Sadly, I do not fully understand your comment. So to try to respond to it in an intelligent fashion is beyond me. I would like to thank you, however, for taking the time to read it and for taking the time to leave a comment.Respectfully,Dianne
More comments
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.