Random Thoughts, Part 7
Posted: Monday, January 11, 2010
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
Oh, the injustice of it all.
My husband, Bernd, is a very sensitive guy. I don't mean he's a girlie-man or that he cries at movies, but his nervous system seems to be on edge most of the time. Because of this, the slightest noise will wake him from a sound sleep (and I mean slight) and he isn't able to go back to sleep until he finds the source. An "oh it was probably only the refrigerator" from me would never quite cut it.
Exceeept for when he starts talking to me again or asks me a question. Why does he do that? He doesn't take the plugs out of his ears and can't hear well enough to understand my reply.
I don't like to yell or talk loudly at any time and especially when I am trying to go to sleep. Besides, it would probably scare our cat, Winnie, as she rarely hears raised voices. So I answer him at a normal loudness. He invariably says, "Hunh?" I will say it again a little louder and he will say, "What?" Finally, I will sit up, lean over him, and put my face where I imagine his face is (my eyes usually aren't dark-adapted quite yet) and repeat what I've just said twice already. He laughs at me hovering over him, I groan and I lie back down. It never occurs to him to remove the *% & @ earplugs before talking to me.
Invariably, he falls right to sleep and is snoring within minutes. I, on the other hand, am perfectly awake, having sat up and tried to make him hear me. Is that fair?
How Random Can You Get?
Being made the way we are, not very. But that is not the thought that sparked the question. The other night, Bernd and I watched Castle. The main character's mother was attempting, with her granddaughter's help, to join FaceBook. She told Castle that she'd been working all afternoon on her MyFace profile. The young girl commented that she'd been correcting her all afternoon to no avail. It got me to wondering how many other names you could cut and paste and come up with something not to unreasonable. Check these out:
- Taco Bell + Del Taco =Taco Dell: an idyllic, pastoral scene wherein you may procure tasty (maybe that's being a little too generous) Mexican themed food.
- Home Depot + Lowes = Home Lowe's: a Chinese restaurant that makes you feel nostalgic for your dad who was always tinkering with something in the garage.
- Fashion Bug + The Gap = Bug Gap: that hole in the screen that lets all the little insects in on a summer's evening to annoy the cr** out of you. Or perhaps a fashion accessory that well, sorry you think of something.
- PMS + BMX = PMX: a great way to channel those mood swings and take your crankiness out on the other competitors. Won't probably help the bloating, though.
- Target + WalMart = TargetMart: I can't really imagine they would stay in business very long with such a limited offering of products.
I seem to be declining into imbecility here. Help me out please. What are some of your ideas? Oh yeah, I mentioned randomness. Of all the silly, inconsequential and useless things to pop into my head, why that? I wonder about me sometimes.
My Cat Seems Happy so Why Should I Worry?
Of all the things we have dubious control over, another individual's happiness is not really one of them. When those around you are happy, you should simply rejoice right? Our cat, Winnie, seems to be perfectly happy. She eats the food I give her with great joy. She begs to sit in my lap in the evenings and I let her. She takes up at least a fifth of our bed each night and more often than not spends all night sleeping right next to me if not on top of me. Yet I worry about her because she weighs more than is probably healthy for her.
She is a big cat to begin with. She and her brother (we had to put Bear down a couple of years ago due to kidney failure) were born wild; feral. The feral cats in our area frequently have a bit of lynx in them and so are larger than domestic cats. Even so, 25 pounds makes for a lot of cat and the poor dear thing has a decidedly bovine appearance from the rear. Still, it doesn't seem to bother her. She is a bit over nine years old and doing well, so should I worry? I'd rather not.
I've tried putting her on a diet, but then she just whines at me incessantly and seems to be not at all happy. And mind you, you can't let a cat lose too much weight too fast. It isn't healthy for them. So the diet was a very small modification. I just finished brushing the roly-poly little girl and that is why this is on my mind. Well, okay, I'll admit it's on my mind quite a bit. So maybe it's not so random after all.
Things I have Learned
Some horses are more tolerant of static shocks than others.
Grooming horses in the cold, dry air produces a lot of static electricity.
If you are statically charged, you shouldn't get too close to the electrified fence wire; nor should you reach out to a horse past that wire.
The use of profanity is no help whatsoever.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)You made me chuckle with your description of Winnie's decidedly bovine rear. I've had cats that had to "suck in their hips" in order to fit through the cat door.Hi Janet.I'm not sure Winnie could use a cat door. We might have to get her a doggie door if we ever let her out of the house.Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.Dianne
You're a good writer. Enjoyed it.
Thanks for the article, Dianne. Random thoughts for sure, but entertaining.Hi Jack.I'll just respond to only this one, if that's okay.Actually, I love random thoughts. I'd better because I seem to have more of those than any other kind. Just try to keep me on track. I dare you. :) Now where was I? Oh yes, you're welcome and glad you enjoyed it.My best to you,Dianne
Flight of thought - I loved it! MarijoHi Marijo.It's nice to know that the stupid stuff that constantly runs through my mind has some value.Thanks for reading and commenting.Dianne
Very nice! The only exception is the last one; I have found profanity works when I am driving. For example, when someone cuts me off, I say something such as 'what an arsehole' and I feel instantly better. Great job here.Hi Michael.Wish that worked for me. I just feel bad about blurting out the profanity. Mostly. :)Thanks for reading and commenting.Take care, be happy,Dianne
Dianne I can see with every added article that I read that you have written just WHY you got the jounalism job. You're awesome. I also LOVE your style.BlessingsHi Goshwin.Thanks so much for that. Can you see me blushing? :)I tend to write the way I talk ... I wouldn't know how to do it otherwise. I think that it makes my writing just a little bit easier to take in. And I like to think of what I write as a "conversation" with the reader.Blessings to you as well,Dianne
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