Spare the Rod, Spoil the ... Horse
Posted: Tuesday, June 21, 2011
by Dianne Lehmann
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I learned a valuable lesson recently. While I would never accept misbehavior from a dog, I seem to tolerate a lot of it from the horse that I ride. In my defense, I didn't realize just how much of our relationship was based on his misbehavior; I wasn't categorizing it as such. Frequently I wish that I had grown up with horses and understood them better.
I ride a horse belonging to a good friend. I am his primary rider and groomer and I spend more time with him on a one-to-one basis than either his owner or his owner's daughter. So when I got to the ranch one Thursday recently and found a long note from the daughter that ended with "We have been much too easy on him lately," I knew the "we" was a diplomatic choice and really the blame for what occurred the previous day lay squarely on my shoulders.
"My" horse had thrown a shoe necessitating a visit from the farrier. The farrier is a long time friend and "blacksmith" to my friend and all of her horses. The horse I ride knows him well and is generally good with him. But on this particular Wednesday, the farrier had "my" horse in the cross ties while working on his feet. “My” horse decided he would be finished with the procedure, started to walk off, realized he was cross tied and freaked out (he has issues from being beaten by a previous owner while tied). He pulled back, snapped a tie and nearly fell crushingly on the farrier. As the owner's daughter put it, "He nearly killed the farrier." It wasn't until later in the day that I found out what had actually happened. I'd been imagining all sorts of awful things and wondering if I really knew "my" horse at all. I was glad to hear that he hadn't tried to stomp on the farrier or bite his face off. Still, it gave me pause.
Most of the note that the owner's daughter left for me was a list of things that I was to do, not do, and not let "my" horse do. One of the things I was to do was have a crop (short whip) with me at all times while working with him. I'm not really a crop sort of person. But I tried the one she set out for me on my thigh and no matter how hard I hit myself with it, I couldn't make it sting. Boiling all her instructions down to one sentence, it might look something like, "He doesn't twitch an ear or bat an eye if you don't tell him to do it." A whole new concept for me. A big bit of his reconditioning would also center on keeping him tied the whole time I was grooming and tacking him. Up until now, I've just closed us both in his stall and let him wander around in his stall while I worked on him. That’s mostly because the first time I tried him on the cross ties, be pulled back and fell. Watching a horse fall is very scary. He could have broken his neck.
I have to tell you, at the end of our ride, I had to concede that he was much more manageable and that I had just had about the best ride I'd ever had and he had more fun than he'd had in a long time. So, how do you tell if a horse is enjoying himself? You do have to know the horse fairly well (I've been riding him for over two years now), but a good indicator is if he is accepting of the bit in his mouth, chewing on it and making a lot of frothy saliva that leaks out … a foamy mouth on a horse is a good thing.
Riding with a crop (I never did have to use it while riding … he has a lot of respect for it and only has to know that you have it in your hand … kind of sad in a way, but there you are) was a revelation. Instead of his usual need to stop and look at everything on the way to the arena, he marched right along beside me. Instead of his usual slow and somewhat grudging walk during warming up, he marched right off the first time I asked for a walk. He listened to my aids (hands and legs) so intently that he surprised me the first time I asked for a trot. And our transition to the canter was so smooth, immediate and easy that I was totally amazed. The amount of obedience that I received was like a blessing. It was so nice not to have to "fight" with him for everything. Not that he's what I'd call "bad" or anything. It's just that because I hadn't been as firm about what I wanted for quite some time, he had found it necessary to start making some of the decisions about what to do. As I've been told and now know (hold on to that thought, Dianne, and don't wimp out) for myself, this is not always a good thing.
Another thing that amazed me was that we were trotting really fast and doing all sorts of canter transitions and none of that made me nervous. Cantering has frightened me so much for so long, I didn't quite know what to make of it. Then I figured out that I was so totally focused on him that I forgot I was riding. My only goal was to see that he did only what I asked, praise him for it and not let him get away with walking or trotting off.
I realized that all the well intended criticisms of how I was sitting, where my hands were, the bend in my legs and whether my heels were down properly had shifted my focus solely to me. I'd forgotten about the partnership, about directing him and moving with him and all that stuff that makes riding a pleasure instead of just work.
The owner's daughter told me later that day that after about a month of working with him very strictly I could probably go back to doing things the way I had always. I think she was trying to make me feel better because I told her I knew this was my fault. I also said that I thought that would be a bad idea. I may not always have to have the crop with me. Actually, I'd prefer not to because he does seem to have a fear of it and I don't want our relationship and partnership to be about fearful respect. But I think that we can find some middle ground where I am more assertive and he is more obedient. I think that would be a very good thing for both of us. So for now, I am not going to spare the rod and I will not spoil either of us.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)I can relate to the daughter. I grew up with horses. At 2 or 3 I was riding bareback and slapping the horse (pony) right back if out of line... well, according to my mother. I remember doing things that would make me hesitate now if I thought twice. You can't show fear and you have to stay firm. Also, show them love and talk to them like they understand what you say... and enjoy them.Hi Philip.
Thanks for the advice! I really do wish I'd grown up with horses and not just for the reason I gave in my article. The daughter started riding at about the same age you did on a horse that bucked her off any time she did something the horse didn't like ... or did something wrong ... the horse was well trained. She learned fast how to keep a horse in line.
Firmness is what I have trouble with. I always have at the back of my mind the thought "why is what I want more important than what he wants." Well, the answer is because I'm the human and I'm supposed to be in charge so that we are both safe. Still, I have a hard time getting it.
I've no problem talking to the horse I ride and the others. They probably wish sometimes that I'd just shut up. :) And I think they do understand me ... or at least the feelings behind the words. I think they have no doubt that I love them.
I do enjoy them. The time I get to spend with them is so precious to me.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Hugs,
Dianne
I haven't been on a horse for years now when I as a kid living on a farm I use to ride quite a lot. Good article DianneHi David.
Do you ever think about riding again? I do really enjoy it.
Thanks for reading and commenting. I always appreciate it when you stop by.
Hugs,
Dianne
Interesting article Dianne...but I don't have horses...these days we don't keep horses...everybody is busy in their own fixed routine office work or business...May be only farmers have time to spend with their animals...Hi Chiradeep.
That sounds kind of sad. I can't imagine a day that doesn't have animals in it. They are good for the body and the soul.
Thanks for stopping by! And take care and be happy.
Hugs,
Dianne
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