Writing and Letting Go
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
I received a comment recently on one of my articles that caused me to think a lot more about it than I usually do. For the most part, fellow authors on SearchWarp compose most of my article commentators. Rarely does a non-author take the time to leave a few words behind to let me know they've read it. So when I get one of those, I take note. And when they are less than complimentary, I especially take note.
Because we writers are privy to our thought processes (hopefully), we sometimes leave something out or write something in our personal "shorthand" that the reader might not understand. That comment I mentioned in the first paragraph pointed this out to me very clearly.
The SearchWarp authors who read my articles on a regular basis (and thank you all so much for doing that) have come to know me a bit. They have learned about the way I think and become familiar with how I express myself. The casual, off the cuff reader has none of that. And when you add in this particular reader's not very well expressed comment, it led to a lot of confusion on my part and my poor little brain was working hard to figure it out.
It finally did do that about half way through a 30 mile drive I was making shortly after reading the comment. I had cleared my mind so that I could focus on driving and then the real meaning of the comment became apparent to me. I struggled for the rest of the drive to focus on driving because a part of me wanted to rewrite the entire article to make it clearer what I had meant.
By the time I returned home many hours later, I no longer had the compulsion to rewrite it. I did however, think about leaving a reply to my reply that would hopefully explain things better. Ultimately, I decided that what I had written as my initial reply was fine. This led me to believe that my initial article as it was published was fine as well. Maybe not perfect, but good enough.
When I first started writing, I had the hardest time letting go of my articles. I would agonize over them for days wondering if they were actually finished and as good as they could be. Did they really say what I wanted to say? Were they entertaining? Enlightening? Were they any good at all?
I have never gone back and rewritten an article. Yes, I might correct a spelling error if I notice it or fix a typo, but an actual rewrite … never. I had to ask myself why.
When my husband, Bernd, was first teaching himself to paint with watercolors, the thing he had the hardest time with was knowing when it was finished. Could it use another duckling sitting on the water? Did that tree need a little more light in the crown? Does this shadow firmly anchor the potted plant on the tile? He would agonize sometimes for days. But finally, he would decide to let go of it. He has never gone back and modified any of his paintings.
I have upon occasion, reread some of my earliest articles. I tend to sit there and cringe and so I only read them when I am already somewhat morose. I figure they can’t make my mood any worse. I could fix them. But I don't. They are a history of my progress as a writer. But that isn't the real reason I do not rewrite them.
Once I decide to let go of something I've written, it is finished … at least to my mind. Done. As perfect as I could make it. So to rewrite it would be to say that I had not done the best that I could at that time. That I had let go of something that was not ready to be let go. That I had failed to do my best. I don't really have a problem with failure … I do it all the time and I've become accustomed to it. But to not have given something my best shot is not something I want to do and to think that I may not have disturbs me. So I don't rewrite. There might be a little unwillingness to firmly face reality at all times in there. I don't know. But I do know that at some point, you have to let go of it.
I've spent some time over the years studying and learning from the Tao Te Ching. I have a favorite "verse:" "Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity." This is from the translation by Stephen Mitchell.
However, I am even now sitting here and wondering when this article will be ready for me to let it go. Have I lived up to the implied promise in the title? Have I written clearly and unambiguously? Does it have a point? Was the point well made? Did it need a point?
Warning! This is a cheater ending: I'll just let you decide.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)I think I understand how you look at it Dianne. I tend to be the same way. I write in the moment and never rewrite. I begin an article when it strikes me and although there's been times I've quickly jotted down something for a future article so I don't forget, I find if I go back to it, I'm not in the moment and it goes nowhere. Write from your heart and express yourself as best you can, (as you do very well for those of us who are familiar with your writing). There's always the possibility of being misunderstood but that goes with the territory. It takes guts to put yourself, and your feelings out there. I know when to let an article go but when I worked as a retouching artist I was the same as Bernd. I would keep going until the photographer would say enough already, it's perfect. I always thought I could do more or do better. We are hard on ourselves aren't we? You got your point across in this one loud and clear. :)Hi Brianna.
I do write that way ... now. In the beginning, not so much. I think some of my initial reticence to let go was fear based.
I don't write as often as I might like because I do write as you do ... in the moment. And the moments I have for writing are few these days. For instance, right now, there are a dozen other things I really need to be doing. :)
And yes, we are hard on ourselves.
Thanks so much for all your kind comments. I really appreciate them. And I think you understand me very well. :)
HUGS,
Dianne
I enjoy your writings and your style. You have an honesty about the way you write and a natural way of expressing yourself that I especially like.
There are those that will tell you that everything can be made better. At this stage of my life I have come to grips with "something can always be better" etc. So I do it as well as I am able to do it and with me that's going to be to try really hard to get it right.
I do the best with an article that I can like you and our fellow writers. I'll proof and reread it and, at times, read it aloud to a family member. And when I am satisfied with it, I publish it. My favorite thing about our fellow Warpies (thanks Bruce for this name) is that the individual shines through.Hi Heidi.
My dad was one of those people who thought that everything could be made better. He was always pointing out to me how I could have done something better. I think that's where I learned to doubt.
Even so, I think that I too have come to grips with it. I don't hold an article (usually not) for days anymore before letting it go. These days, it's only hours. But I might reread it three or four times and at least once out loud. I find that helps with the punctuation and it also helps to make it more readable.
You know, all that anyone can ever ask is that you do the best you can at the time. I've always said, though, that some days my best is not quite as good as others. :) I've come to accept that as well.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Heidi. You know I always enjoy "hearing" from you.
Hugs,
DianneI would stop all the time if my time wasn't such a crunch. I love reading your works. Your dad was a wise man. He was right about things could be made better. You took it to heart - too much and you learned to doubt yourself. Sometimes, as we all have learned, you just have to take ownership and let it go.
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