The Re-Naming of the Shrew
Posted: Tuesday, October 25, 2011
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
My husband, Bernd, and I were watching a little television in real-time the other night. Mostly we record the programs we want to see because we can then fast-forward through the commercials. Saves time and sanity. But from time to time, it's good to watch a few commercials to stay in touch with what is going on in the world. The news is just too depressing most days and I avoid it. Commercials provide a little window on the world. An odd little window, to be sure, but a window nonetheless.
When I met Bernd, his mother introduced me to Maggi. It's a German thing and kind of like monosodium glutamate meets Worcestershire sauce but without the anchovies or whatever other weird ingredients most Worcestershire sauces are invested. Basically, it's a flavor enhancer (but I guess that wouldn't have had quite the zing of "booster," and besides, enhancer conjures up memories of monosodium glutamate and it doesn't have as good a rep as it once did). We used Maggi for a while after we were first married because that was what Bernd was accustomed to. But I don't think it is really all that healthy for people. Right now, Bernd is really into tamari sauce.
There has been a spate of re-naming in recent years. Some it of is undoubtedly beneficial. I've no problem with switching from "handicapped" to "special needs." I think the latter more aptly describes the situation. But for me, a lot of re-naming is like what has happened with toilet paper. I'll even go with toilet tissue. But bath tissue … give me a break.
Traditionally, a shrew (please don't ask me why I thought of shrews while considering this issue; I can't explain it) is looked upon as a nasty little animal; evil tempered and intractable. Its name has been usurped and used to describe women of a certain nature. But even the lowly shrew has its redeeming qualities. It does rid the environment of insects … lots and lots of insects. They have a high metabolic rate and even though they are small they must consume up to 80 to 90% of their body weight daily. Because they are so numerous, that equals a lot of insects. So perhaps we should re-name the little guys and see if we can't get them some good representation for a change.
How about … you know I can't, of the top of my head, think of another name that might suit them. They are small, furry, voracious eaters who are solitary except to mate. They are more closely related to moles than to rodents. They have sharp, pointy little teeth and the shrew family is the fourth most successful of the mammalian families having species on almost every continent (only New Guinea, Australia and New Zealand do not have any) and in just about every ecosystem you can imagine. Only the rodent and bat families are more successful (hmmm … if shrews are the fourth most successful behind bats and rodents, who is actually in third place … Wikipedia didn't say). Shrews have the highest brain mass to body mass ratio of any animal including humans (Bernd thinks that they have been secretly plotting to take over the world for some time now, but because they do not have opposable thumbs, they have not yet succeeded). Some shrews are even venomous. So how do we put that together into one neat little name? Obviously, I could never work for an advertising firm. But I'll give it a whirl.
How about Smores for small insectivores? No that's already taken and I'd rather have the chocolaty, marshmallowy kind of smore. What about Versmores for very small insectivores? Maybe Biters for big eaters. That probably isn't much better than shrew really. Ooh, I know, Smants for smarty pants. I don't think Smants is an actual word and so cannot already have any negative … or even positive connotations … yet. But just in case, I better look it up.
Boy was I wrong! Color me red in the face. I just Googled smant and you will not believe what I found. I don't think I want to print that here. Suffice it to say, I found it on the Urban Dictionary site. So the quest is on to successfully re-name the shrew along with anything else you might like to re-name; just not toilet paper please. Any ideas?
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Too bad smant already has another meaning, I think yours is pretty cool.
Oh, I just looked it up!
Bouillon I had forgotten about - it used to come in cubes, it was absolutely delicious in kind of the same way that Marmite is. Can't remember what we called it...
How about silly clot - sclot
Do you know about the cockney slang? Whistle and flute means suit. Apples and pears - stairs. How it originated is beyond me!
Hi Jennifer.
I've never heard of cockney slang. Sounds very interesting. Have you ever considered doing an article about it?
Did you laugh when you saw the definition of smant? I did. Hoo-ee!
Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting!
Hugs,
DianneHa ha, I laughed a lot! Trust you to come up with such a word!!
Right, I'll do an article about cockney slang. Why they'd choose to use three words instead of one beats me, but there probably is an interesting story there...
LOL... I cant believe the news there is just as depressing as it is here... thought maybe it was a South African thingHi Tharuna.
I think there is depressing news all over the world. I wish they would report a few more nice things more often! There ARE nice things happening too.
Thanks for reading!
Hugs,
Dianne
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