In the Kitchen with Dianne
Posted: Sunday, December 25, 2011
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
Whenever I'm in the kitchen, it's kind of an adventure. I make it up as I go and I've been lucky. Much of what I make is edible (these days) even though I ignore, for the most part, recipes and measuring cups and the like.
It wasn't always so though. When Bernd and I were first married, I didn't have a clue about how to cook. Sure, I could heat soup and warm a hot dog in a frying pan. I could make a pretty tasty meatloaf and boil potatoes. But I could turn a nice filet mignon (given to us by Bernd's boss at the time) into jerky in a flash. I might have made better use of the pressure cooker Mom gave us, but the thing terrified me. We ate a lot of Top Ramen and hot dogs when we were first married. Or we ate out. I think that was Bernd's preference.
My mom was the last of nine children. She was born in 1923 when large farming families were still the norm. She had to help her mother with all the chores for a really huge family. Mom always said that she had to do so much of that sort of thing when she was very young, that she swore if she had daughters she would never make them do any of that. So even though I was interested, I finally got tired of asking and being turned down. Then too, I lost interest in even watching. And while I was quite observant, my interests eventually turned more toward the sciences. When Bernd and I married, I discovered that my cooking skills had pretty much stalled out at about age ten.
One of my cousins had given me a cookbook for my bridal shower. It was years before I even thought of cracking that thing open. Even today, I don't use it except to remind me once a year how long it takes a turkey of a certain weight to roast in the oven. So you can imagine that things can get pretty interesting in my kitchen from time to time.
One instance of a real flop comes to mind. Bernd and I had been married for about a year or so and I was finally feeling a little more secure in my roles as housewife and wage earner. We thought that it was time we had my mom, step-dad, sister and sister's boyfriend to dinner. Even though I was feeling more secure, about the only thing I was sure I could make and not screw up was spaghetti, toasted garlic/cheese bread (I'd learned how not to burn it to a crisp in the broiler) and a tossed salad with a store bought Italian dressing (these days I make all my own dressings). So the invitation was made and accepted and I started to panic. You see, it's not just the cooking that is involved in "entertaining" guests.
I didn't have all of the food allergies that I have today, and so I had been buying a premade spaghetti sauce in a jar and dressing it up. I'd sauté onion and celery and also add more oregano and dried basil. It was pretty darn tasty and Bernd and I always enjoyed it. Thing is, Bernd always thought the sauce was a little too acidic and he was worried that our guests might not like it. So the disaster wasn't entirely my fault … more Bernd's than mine really … but of course I went along with his idea.
Bernd thought we should tone down the acidity with a little baking soda. But how much? Turns out even a little is too much. I can't really remember how much we used, but we ruined close to five quarts of spaghetti sauce. Bernd put in some baking soda and it immediately foamed up into a frothy pink mess. Both our eyes went wide. I looked at him and told him to taste it and he did. Then he said to me that I had better taste it. When I did, true panic set in.
The family was due to arrive shortly and there was no time for Bernd to run out and get more sauce. I'd announced the meal time with the invitation and I had always prided myself on my punctuality. In hindsight, we probably should just have made them wait. Instead, we forged ahead with what we had and hoped that no one would notice. After all, once the foaming had subsided, it looked like perfectly normal spaghetti sauce and still smelled good too.
They all arrived and we talked for a bit. I put the finishing touches on the salad and put the bread into the broiler to toast. We all sat down and started serving ourselves family style. Then came the moment of truth. My step-dad was the first to take a bite. He didn't say anything. Then Mom took a bite and looked at my step-dad. It just all went downhill from there. Finally, we had to fess up to what had happened. We all ate a lot of salad and garlic bread and plain pasta. My step-dad's only comment was that he was pretty sure that spaghetti sauce wasn't supposed to taste sweet.
It was the source of some good natured joking over the next few years … especially when we'd ask them to dinner. I would laugh along with them, but it did take me quite some time to get over it.
Over the years I've turned into a decent cook. Actually, developing all the food allergies that I have has been the main reason for that. If I want something tasty to eat, I have to make it myself. So I had to learn to cook. Now I wonder what all the fuss was so long ago. But that still doesn't stop me from making silly cooking mistakes. Or from having stupid accidents. There are dropped eggs and sleeves caught on frying pan handles. There is oil added twice to the mix and spoons flying through the air. Water dripping into hot oil when removing something from the microwave above the range top can be a painful experience.
But yesterday morning's breakfast of complete from scratch waffles turned out perfectly. Today's lunch will be wild Alaskan salmon sautéed with spices and a toasted onion and yellow bell pepper garnish, curried quinoa and steamed vegetables. It will most likely turn out perfectly as well. After all, I'm no longer that novice 23 year old nascent chef. And Bernd is very happy about that.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Great article, and funny too.Hi Elle.
THANKS!
Hugs,
Dianne
Your salmon dinner sounded just scrumptious. Wonder why you were hit with so many allergies later as opposed to having them earlier, as in your childhood? Looks like you've turned into a marvelous cook and you enthusiasm is catchy.Hi Heidi.
It was really tasty. Bernd particularly likes the toasted onion and bell peppers.
The worst of my allergies began around the time of perimenopause. I've always been allergic to tobacco and anything in the melon family, along with roses and juniper pollen. Apparently quite a few women develop allergies around the time of menopause.
As for enthusiasm ... what's more fun than tasty food!? Okay, I can think of a few things ... riding horses for one! :)
Hugs,
Dianne
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