About Face, Forward March!
Posted: Wednesday, January 11, 2012
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
What does it take to turn a negative into a positive? I'm not talking about the current trend called the humble boast or something like that. You know, where you take something that is actually positive and make it seem negative so you can boast without seeming to: "I just can't seem to get the hang of a properly crunchy topping on my crème brulee." The unspoken boast is that you actually know how to make a crème brulee to begin with. Or how about, "Honestly, I think vacuuming the carpeting in the entire house every other day is just wearing me out." I'm sure you can come up with your own examples. Maybe someone has even used the ploy on you recently.
I am constantly reminded by dogs that "bad," in particular, is a relative term. I think dog feces smells bad. Dogs do not. Nor do they think that cat feces is bad. In fact, I've seen dogs eat cat feces. For the longest time, my husband (Bernd) has had the onerous duty of cleaning our cat's litter box if there is feces in it. He doesn't seem to mind. To me the feces smells awful. But I've recently made an effort to re-label it as merely "unpleasant" or "just a smell." By changing the way I think about, I've changed how I respond to it and Bernd has to clean the box less and less. However, I do not anticipate that any time in the future will I appreciate cat feces in the same way as dogs do. I should note, lest you think me a total drudge, that I have never had a problem with her urine.
How do you turn a positive (+) into a negative (-)? You have to take something away. It seems to me that most people who see things in a negative light for the most part have simply stopped thinking about it. The thing removed is rational thought. You plunk a label of "bad" or "nasty" or "hateful" on something and then cease to ever consider the issue again. I'm as guilty of that as the next person.
Being negative takes no effort or thought. Being positive can be a lot of work. But the benefits of the latter are multitudinous.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)How do you turn a positive ( ) into a negative (-)? You have to take something away. It seems to me that most people who see things in a negative light for the most part have simply stopped thinking about it. The thing removed is rational thought. You plunk a label of "bad" or "nasty" or "hateful" on something and then cease to ever consider the issue again. I'm as guilty of that as the next person.
lol!Hi Marcia.
It IS fairly amusing. Better that than getting angry over it. :) But that really is the way that I see it.
Thanks for reading!
Hugs,
Dianne
The humble boast drives me crazy! I can't think of any examples, but just reading yours made me want to be childish and stick my tongue out!
I like the dog analogy, it's a perfect reminder. And some people seem to relish making things as negative as possible. Spoilers. The thing one needs to add is a cloak of invisibility so they disappear altogether!
Seriously, though, I think you're right, it's hard to find something positive to hold onto sometimes, something that can be built on and that's rea and isn't just positive spin and denial of emotions.Hi Jennifer.
That whole positive spin thing also tends to get my panties in a bunch. :) Honestly, a little more honesty couldn't hurt ... could it? This is sort of off topic, but I produce and edit and write most of the content for the newsletter for the dressage club of which I am a member. I always submit the final draft to the rest of the board (I am also club secretary) for approval before sending it out to all the members. Most of the board members are older (like me :)), but one is 27 and most commonly she will have a comment about putting a more positive spin on something or other. Frankly, I try to report as impartially as possible and just stick to the facts. So it's a bit of a bone of contention for me.
I agree, there are those who are not happy if they have nothing to complain about. I wonder how that comes to be. Totally amazes me that someone can find "happiness" in feeling miserable.
I think the trick is in altering how we talk to ourselves. Those very brief and nearly subliminal conversations that we have in our heads. The words we use to describe our current situation will decide how we feel about something. Change how you refer and you will change how you feel. But first you have to "catch" yourself being negative. It's not always easy as you have pointed out.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Hugs,
DianneA little more honesty couldn't hurt at all! I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I hate the positive spin which is just denial and kind of mindless, but I agree with you about those conversations we have with ourselves.
Often when I'm being negative, it's really that I'm scared. Which means that the negative thoughts are a consequence, like you say. People treat them as if they're the cause, but they aren't, they're the symptom.I hadn't really thought of it that way, but you are right. Fear does make me more negative. And that they are a consequence of fear is a wonderful insight. I'm going to remember that! But I don't think I said that. That's all you. Thanks!
This is an interesting subject - interesting to explore and probably not too easy to write up. You did a superb job. A lot of time I thought negatively about many things and I sometimes wonder off into the negative these days, but for the most part I have become quite the optimist. I like to turn the negative into the positive, like to turn a frown into a smile, a timid creature into a brave one, a naughty horse into a tractable fabulous creature. I'll work at it endlessly. You have explained it so well.Hi Heidi.
It does tend to get a little mixed up in my mind from time to time.
Bernd was told recently at work that he needs to be less negative and stop complaining and it got me to thinking. He doesn't complain about things that are not real problems. Like insurance companies that "say" one thing on their website and a diametrically opposed thing when you get them on the phone. But employers are asking for all sorts of unreasonable behaviors of their employees these days simply because jobs are so hard to come by. Hey! That's a good idea for an article. :)
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Hugs,
DianneYou bet it's a great article. Perfect timing, too.
Hi Dianne you say as an example about hoovering every other day. Well I do this at least 3 a time daily (OCD). There was a time I would sigh at the thought of having to do this, but now I take advantage and love to hoover. Why what has changed? I was told by the doctor to do more exercise, so I killed two birds with one stone, by turning up the music full blast (Dean Martin) and just hoovered away singing instead of sighing. Oh the joys of turning the negative into a positive.
Keep well
KacyHi Kacy.
That's a great example of what I wrote. I tend to look at all my chores as an opportunity to burn some calories and get some exercise. Ain't it grand! :)
Thanks for reading and for your great comment.
Hugs,
Dianne
Absolutely Excellent.Hi Christofer.
Thanks so much!
Hugs,
Dianne
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