The Moment that Refreshes
Posted: Tuesday, January 24, 2012
by Dianne Lehmann
Artisan Jewelry from SyZyGy
Ahhh. Take a deep breath. Hold it. Hold it some more. Let it out now. Slowly. Through your nose. Take another deep breath and repeat.
I do any number of different things to relax, but remembering to breathe deeply when I am stressed is at the top of my list. I'll be sitting on the back of "my" horse and he'll be trotting along nicely. We are both relaxed and enjoying the nice weather, then a bird will fly out of a tree or a bush. Suddenly, he is not so relaxed anymore and takes off at the canter. His head is up, his ears are pricked and he's flying. Suddenly, I am no longer breathing and I am getting more and more tense as he refuses to listen to me and SLOW DOWN. Most likely he doesn't slow because my tenseness is communicating SPEED UP to him. If I could just remember to breathe deeply at those times I would probably sit deeply and he would get the message. When it is all over and we are standing still and both taking some nice deep and relaxing breaths, it feels wonderful. I'll take one and let it out noisily so he can hear that I'm relaxed and then he will do the same. We might do it a couple more times, first me then him. It's how we tell each other that everything is fine.
I do like to read. I think all writers probably read a lot. I start the day with a book of fiction over breakfast (I like to start the day relaxed) and end the day with a little non-fiction reading. That is, after I've solved a couple Sudokus. There is nothing like solving a Sudoku to take your mind off of everything else. It requires focus and logic and some tricky reasoning. And yes, I am quite addicted to the darn things. A day without Sudoku is a day without … well, it just doesn't happen so I've no comparison.
I think the main value of "relaxation" is not what you do in order to achieve it. Rather, it is that it takes you away from all the things that cause you to feel restless and maybe unfulfilled. But that's talking mostly about mental relaxation. There is physical relaxation too.
My husband, Bernd, excels at physical relaxation. He can fall asleep just about anywhere and anytime. I don't think that it's because he is tired all the time, but he is tired a lot. Still, it takes great skill to fall soundly asleep with his head in my lap while I am sitting on a bench just outside of New Orleans Square at Disneyland in Anaheim, California. The train station was right next door and they would let off steam as they came into the station, ring the bell and toot the whistle. Then there were all the people wandering around talking and kids yelling. Bernd was snoring loudly enough that he caused a few people to look at us. I just smiled.
He can fall asleep while sitting in his recliner and reading a book. He can fall asleep at work while sitting up in a hard chair after he's finished his lunch. He can fall asleep in the car (while I'm driving, of course). And he's not narcoleptic, honest.
I think it's his favorite way to relax. While sleeping, we are not (for the most part) at all bothered by any of our mental woes. So maybe it is the ultimate relaxation … physical and mental. I know that there are many evenings that I am more than grateful when I can finally put my head upon my pillow and sink slowly down into slumber.
But I will stand by my first assertion. The best way I've found for me to relax is to take a couple of purposeful and deep breaths. When I let the breath go, I send with it everything that is "bothering" me in that moment. Ahhh.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)As I was reading,Dianne, I became aware of how much I hold my breath and tense up my belly. So, aahhh, let me just all that out. Mmmm, it does feel good. I also like washing dishes and don't really like meditating! I laughed at the use you have for your dish-washer :)
And slightly off the subject of relaxation, I wish I could get to that horse-riding, but my back still isn't mended. I go to watch some horses on a common not far from where I do physio, and the other week this really lovely horse came trotting up to the fence, curious, friendly. I was feeling blue and I told her all about it. At some point she stuck her head over the fence and nuzzled me, it was divine! I've been back to look for her, but she hasn't been there again so far.
And now I'm going to bed, after a bit of reading...
xxx JHi Jennifer.
Maybe that sweet little horse was trying to tell you that it would all be there waiting for you when you are ready. Personally, I think they are very wise and know things we can't even imagine. They are also great listeners.
I just ordered the DVD "Buck" about Buck Brannaman. He was the inspiration for the novel "Horse Whisperer." I'm looking forward to watching it. I'll try to remember to let you know what I think of it.
I had my first experience of NOT holding my breath when I was in a great deal of pain after being solidly punched during a Kung Fu sparring match. Oddly enough, I took the punch on the back of my hand and ruptured a couple blood vessels. Our instructor immediately took me aside and began to massage my hand which hurt like a son of a bitch ... the massaging ... the damage hadn't really registered yet. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until he asked me why I was holding my breath. He told me that holding my breath was just holding the pain in and that I should let it go with each exhale. What a revelation! I've carried it with me ever since. But using it in the moment ... now that's another issue.:)
The weather here hasn't been cooperating for riding much, but I've gotten a few good rides in. Yesterday though, I just spent the day with the "ponies." Cleaning stalls, grooming, talking. Even when you can't ride, they're fun to be with!
Thanks for reading!
Hugs (and a get-well kiss for your back),
Dianne
I like this - how you and your horse become in tune with eachother. I have to remember this when I'm dealing with my kids. They act and react, a lot of times, based on my level of calm. If I'm frustrated or frantic, things will only go downhill. If I approach every situation from a place of calm, we do much better.
Thank you!Hi Liesl.
I think that is true in so many situations. When you want a dog to be quiet, it doesn't help to yell loudly at him. That only encourages him to be loud. :)
With horses, it is especially important because they are prey animals and their first instinct is to run away. They have an amazing startle reflex that can take them from standing perfectly still to 50 yards away in just a couple of seconds (if you are lucky you stay on them when this happens ... I haven't every time). Always astounds me how such large animals can move so fast.
There is one horse that I am just learning to ride. She isn't nearly as calm or secure as the one I have been riding for that past three years. She needs a very calm and confident rider so that she can be calm ... and that is not me ... for the most part. :) But I'm doing my best to be there for her.
Thanks for reading!
Hugs,
Dianne
Very interesting. Deep breathing is a great way of relaxing.Hi Hifzur.
Yes, it is!
Thanks for reading.
Hugs,
Dianne
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